Asexuality

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The documentary Asexual was a great source of information to understand what being asexual really means. Before this documentary, I didn’t really understand what it meant or how common it was because it is not discussed in schools or in the media. I feel like it is not well- known, even in the LGBTQ community, which was shocking. When a group of people that were asexual went to the Pride Parade, people at the parade did not understand what it meant to be asexual. The show The View, had David Jay (the main character in the documentary) on the show to discuss his experience as being asexual. He explained what it meant to not be attracted to either sex or sexual intercourse and also discussed the lack of community that he has as support. The hosts of the show started asking questions by trying to get a general understanding of what the term even means. In my opinion, these questions were helpful because a vast majority of society do not know what it means to be asexual. One of the hosts asked; “Is it a problem?” which is a valid question for someone that has a hard time understanding, but is definitely not polite toward someone that is asexual. On the show, they joked about being asexual and not wanting to have sex because to most, that’s impossible to feel. She then jokingly asked; “Then why do you have to organize?” Because it is such a foreign concept to people, they don’t understand why people are that asexual and why they are calling attention to it.

The same host that asked the above questions also asked if he was repressed or if he was afraid to face sexuality. I was also wondering this because what if it takes the right person to feel that sexual drive and desire with? Throughout the documentary, many asexuals described their experiences of having sex and not having sex. Their stories are astonishing because it is such a different concept. Can you think of anyone that doesn’t want to have sex at some point in the life? I thought that this documentary was very necessary to fully understand what asexual meant and the importance for others to understand and spread the word. There is over three million people that are asexual, according to the documentary, so it is necessary that those people do have a community to turn too.

http://youtu.be/6kPfLYuQlL8

In the clip, you can see how important it is for asexuals to have an outlook or a community to explore their questions about their sexualities, especially when they first realize it. The hosts of the show ask the questions that I believe are the questions that everyone wants to know and David Jay does a great job explaining what its like. It sounded like he was describing his “coming out” in a similar sense as if someone was gay, lesbian, queer, or transgendered. I even found it interesting how he described that he can still have a normal relationship with someone just without the sexual part. As in, he still has to build a connection with someone just like any type of relationship, the only thing that is different is the sexual attraction. He finds personalities more attractive than looks or bodies. David Jay also explained in response to one of the hosts of The View that being asexual is an orientation even though they can choose whether or not they have sex. What do you think? Do you think asexuals have a choice in how they feel or is it an orientation? David Jay compared having sex with someone as an asexual is like a gay man having sex with a woman before he comes out. He really put into perspective how difficult it can be living as an asexual person but also explained the importance for people to understand how they feel. However, by the end of the documentary, he explained how hard it is to have a relationship without sex and realized that he would have to give in some times. He discussed how this is how to maintain a strong relationship with someone and that for him to get what he wants, he is going to give what his partner wants. Do you agree with this? Do you think David Jay and other asexuals should succumb to the pressures of sex just so that they can have a healthy relationship? I think it would be very interesting to see how well someone could fake this act, to do something that is not so desirable for them, but just to make someone else happy. It also still shocks me that the LGBTQ community rejected the asexual group at the Pride Parade in the documentary, because it would seem as if they would accept anyone. What do you think about this?

One thought on “Asexuality

  1. I saw David Jay on The View on YouTube. Frankly, I thought the women were a bit rude at times, frankly.

    In terms of relationships, some asexual people are happy to have sex, even initiate it. However, some are completely averse or repulsed. I’m notvthexperson to talk about relationships (I’ve always been single), but by what I’ve read, I think that relationships can work out only if things be negotiated either way. And I think that seems to be the complicated part.

    Like

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