(A)sexual

We live in a country today that is obsessed with putting people into groups and bases everything on things found in media to determine their culture. This movie looks at many different people who identify as asexual. What exactly is asexual/asexuality? The actual definition of asexuality is “the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. It may be considered the lack of a sexual orientation, or one of the four variations thereof, alongside heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality). My own definition of this term after watching the film would be that there are people who are not interested in having sexual intercourse or acts with people of the same or even opposite sex.

It seems like when many of these people in the (A)Sexuality film try to tell their friends/family that they are identifying as asexual but these people don’t except that. This goes with what I mentioned above that our country is obsessed with labeling people and putting them into groups. For example, there is a guy which is telling us when he told his friends he was asexual they said, “No you are just gay”. What makes me think that asexual are were people are not interested in sex with same or opposite sex because of Kathy’s example. Kathy explains how she came out as a lesbian but that it didn’t work between her and her partner because she wasn’t interested in sex.

Something that I also found interesting was on the show The View that they ask Dan Savage if he claims to be “asexual” because he doesn’t want to face what his sexuality may look like. The thing is they never give him a chance to answer for himself. Then they go on to ask him if he likes to masturbate or have sex with himself and he claims “I’ve tried it it’s alright”. In another interview he shares how he started his business/website because he felt lost and thought he was the only one. So he found this as a way to reach out to other asexuals’ where they can start their own community and for asexual people to find other people like them. The thing that stood out to me was the fact that the woman with glasses and red shawl states that, “If it wasn’t for the Internet asexual would never be discussed. So instead of being defined by others they are able to define themselves”. Since this lady stated this I decided to turn to the Internet and look up what was said about asexuality.

Something I found was a website stating how to understand asexual people. This website breaks it down into 8 steps. The first step was to note the difference between asexual and celibacy. The second step is to not confuse asexuals with homosexuals. The third step is to understand that asexuals are not people who have repressed their sexuality. The fourth step is don’t expect them to change. I believe step four is very important because we live in a society were if your different people either don’t want to be seen with you or expect you to change. So do not expect anyone to change just because they aren’t like you because they identify themselves the way they want to. Step five is to get to know what the motivations are because just because they don’t want to have sex they could want to engage in other sexual activities. The sixth step is being asexual does not mean they do not like touch they just don’t have a desire for sexual touch. The seventh step is that people need to avoid thinking that asexuals have some sort of disorder. The final step is do not assume that people are asexual because they have been sexually abused (http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People). It amazes me that there was a website that teaches you how to understand people who are asexual. I feel this website is just another way to group these people so society can find away to understand what asexuality is.

About a year ago there was a segment on the 4th sexuality- asexuality through something like our 20/20 we have over here in America. This segment is below and touches on a young woman who says she is asexual and said “she could die a virgin and be totally fine with it”. This young woman also has a boyfriend who she met online and is also asexual so they both share the same believes. They both are romantically attracted and love each other but they have no sexual feeling or desire. This couple was sent on a vacation around their country and tell the reporters that even though they were alone there was no sexual attraction to where they wanted to have sex. They did state though that there was romantic attraction and a lot of kissing. Something I found very interesting is that they built this relationship for about two years before meeting. I think that they both have such a strong relationship because they both want the same thing and understand each other. Neither of them are wanting that sexual attraction.

 

I have found asexual both confusing and interesting because I didn’t know what asexual was before taking this class, watching the documentary, and watching this video above. I am glad to see that these asexual people are able to now find other asexuals’ to where they can relate to and share their issues. I believe as a society we still struggle grasping what asexuality is but I feel like word is getting out there so people are learning more about it so people should feel more comfortable coming out to family and friends. Asexuals have created their own little community were they can represent themselves and are able to be open and free with people who identify with them. So a question that I think may be really important after watching the documentary (A)Sexuality. Should the LGBTQI community allow and “A” to represent all the asexual people out their in the world?

 

References:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

http://www.wikihow.com/Understand-Asexual-People

One thought on “(A)sexual

  1. After reading your entry, I definitely have some of the same views as you do on asexuality. Its still hard for me to understand how someone is completely disinterested in another person in a sexual way. However, I found the video to be very interesting, and at times I wanted to stop watching and carry on but I couldn’t because of how different the girls situation is than most people. Good job!

    Like

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