What’s Sex Got to do with….Nice Guys?

We’ve all heard it: Nice Guys finish last. But is that actually true?

Nice guys/girls. The Friend Zone. “I Love you like a brother/sister”.

To some these are bad words. To the ones giving them they are compliments. So what is this obsession with coming in a place? Is there even a competition going on? My answer is no.

In the article above, a girl describes her encounter with a guy she met on Tinder, a dating website. She describes him as sweet, genuine—and she prides herself on knowing people’s intention. Things turn scary though when she accidentally falls asleep while texting him. He calls her terrible names, and cuts off contact with her completely. When she wakes up to these she is reasonably confused, she thought he wasn’t anywhere near this violent.

This is the problem with nice guys. They expect people to sleep with them because they are kind, and when they don’t they completely take away any kindness they had and become a different person. Then, society tells the girl she was being a “tease” by leading him on. And that right there was rape culture.

Rape culture is making excuses for why the rape happened. When society expects someone to have sex with a “nice” person and then blames them when they don’t want to, that leads to guilt. And if that person is under too much guilt then they are forced to sleep with people that they don’t want to. And that’s rape.

So here’s my question to you: What do you think of the nice guy argument? Do you think this idea of nice guys perpetuates rape culture?


4 thoughts on “What’s Sex Got to do with….Nice Guys?

  1. I’d say she lucked out, the guy is obviously a predator and bad things could’ve happened had she met him. More than anything its a cautionary tale about labeling groups using terms like “nice guy”. I dont think society expects a woman to have sex with anyone of she doesn’t want to, and as a man I don’t find the idea of guilting a woman into sex appealing. Im not a “nice guy”, if I’m rejected by a woman I simply move on to the next one.


  2. I don’t think the idea of nice guys perpetuates rape culture. I think this idea goes more along the lines of male entitlement. Nice guys feel entitled to women because they are “nice”. I think that after the case with Elliot Rodger, who killed female students at his college for rejecting him, male entitlement of women proved to be something that is embedded in our patriarchal society.


  3. The stigma associated with the phrase “nice guys finish last” causes men to believe they should, in fact, not be nice and turn into an asshole. Women flock towards bad boys and steer clear of nice guys. Being nice doesn’t guarantee you anything in life, especially a sexual partner. Yes, if a man or woman is nice, it does make them more attractive; however, that does not entitle them to sex or ANYTHING, for that matter. No one is obligated to do anything for anyone other than him- or herself. The correlation between entitled men and rape culture is, not surprisingly, very strong, which causes us to believe that we need to clarify and eliminate this phenomenon.


  4. I think you are over generalizing the idea of nice guys. You are making it seem as if all nice guys are like this, and that nice guys are nice solely for the reason of wanting to have sex with a girl, which are both obviously very false. If a guys thinks that a girl will want to have sex with him/feel obliged to have sex with him just because he is nice, then he is delusional.


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