The Final Reflection Post


In our hetero-normative world, I believe that boys have the power to control a girl’s feelings. I think that the most important concept we have discussed includes the subjectivity of women in different circumstances. We learned about Sex and Power and female subjectivity through out the semester. This happens to female of all ages in a relationship and out of one, due to the sexual double standard. I am discussing an issue about an individual who has previously been in a relationship that demonstrates a boy’s power over a girl’s feelings.

“I didn’t realize that I’m feeling so confident and so great about myself then it just be completely shattered, by one thing, by something so stupid. But then you make me feel crazy; make me feel like it’s my fault. I was in pain.”



These are the opening words from Selena Gomez’s video “The Heart Wants What It Wants.” Throughout high school, I have seen many of my friends go through breakups. As little girls, we are taught that confidence is the most beautiful trait. It’s a concept that all of our mother’s hope for us to understand. So why is it that we work so hard to finally reach a point where we are confident and content with ourselves for a boy’s manipulative power to cause it to come crashing down and to make us feel uncertain and crazy? I am curious if this is her way of trying to get his attention from him. In both performances that I have seen, she has been very emotional. In the introduction, she says that she knows ”him” and she knows his heart and what he wouldn’t do to hurt her. But, he did.

This song is about Selena’s ex, Justin Bieber. We haven’t seen him coming out with any new songs about how heart broken he is. Selena, on the opposite hand, states that she is going crazy. She’s “sippin’ on something, she’s strung out, and questioning whether or not she will make it out alive.” She has a million reasons to move on, but the heart wants what it wants. She is twenty-two years old, obviously out of the college hookup scene. By Kathleen Bogle’s evidence, Selena is approaching a time where she is in search of the guy that she will call her husband. Because she was in a serious relationship with Justin for at least two years, she thought he was the one (stated at the end of the performance at the AMA’s). I guess what I’m trying to say is that guys have a way of controlling girls feelings even when they are no longer in a relationship. Girls have a different way of controlling their feelings, such as bawling their eyes out on national television. You would think that a beautiful famous singer/actress would not be an object of being under the control of a boy. I think by him not coming out and showing his emotions, he has the upper hand. Because of the release of this song, the whole world sees her vulnerability and her love for him that still remains the same. Do you think that he is aware of the control he has over her? How do you think he responded to her emotional performance at the AMA’s or her video? Was this the right action for her to take? Do you think she was trying to get his attention?

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s