What’s Sex Got to do With Intercourse…… Final Reflection.

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Throughout the semester I learned what sex and society really have to do with each other. Before entering this course I had no idea what I was going to learn about, and at the end I wanted to learn more about sex and society. One concept that really struck my mind was sexual intercourse. Prior to class I thought sexual intercourse involved a woman and a man having penetrative vaginal penile sex. Well I found out that sexual intercourse has way more to it than just two heterosexuals having sex. Prior to this course, I believed the common misconception that sex was between men and women. Majority of people would define sexual intercourse similar to my definition in my opinion. It’s interesting to me that identities and terms that deal with sex aren’t presented to most kids until they reach college. Meanwhile, before this class I would have not seen this issue as a problem in society. Why do you think people in our society lack knowledge about sex, and stroll around like its acceptable?

While throughout the semester we were assigned different reading I made a connection with the article called “Sexual Intercourse” by Kerwin Kaye. In this article Kerwin Kaye goes on to define intercourse as socially determined. Kerwin Kaye states that, Coitus implies that a woman and a man have intercourse until the man achieves orgasm. Furthermore, before entering the class I would agree with coitus that intercourse compacts with a man and a female having sex, but Kerwin Kaye included interesting points. What about more recent terms such as anal intercourse, strap on sex, and oral sex? Anal sex is an act that most likely occurs between men. Strap on sex is defined as a woman penetrating another woman with a toy or dildo, which could be done either anally or vaginally. Lastly, Kerwin Kaye talks about oral sex and I still am undecided on rather not oral sex should be considered intercourse. I still try and answer this question. It seems as Kerwin Kaye information believes that intercourse can involve same sexes or different sexes, but there has to be some form of penetration happening.

Kerwin Kaye concludes by saying that “The point is not to find the single correct definition, but rather see the meaning associated with these terms shift over time and are inherently susceptible to social conflict” (2011). It’s really important to note that sex should only be defined by the people engaging the act. Sex can include a wide variety of intimate acts and definitely transcends gender differences.  A few questions that I have for my audience could be, how do we change the narrative around sex in our nation? I think this is an important question because our nation was built upon Christian values. These Christian values have led us to really have a limited view of the world. If we expand that view to include traditionally excluded groups, we can embrace a more diverse population and enhance the experiences of ourselves and others.

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A New Definition of Consent

It’s no secret that sexual assault and violence on college campuses has recently become very prevalent in media and the minds of students and faculty across college campuses, as well as in the minds of the government; multiple stories and different accounts of sexual assault and rape have been in the the news, forcing attention to be drawn to this issue and for it to be addressed. Recent studies in sexual assault on college campuses across the United States reveal that one in five women report being assaulted on college campuses, which is terrifying considering in the past, cases of this have never been properly reported or given attention. Students and victims of sexual assault have begun to cry out also, bringing attention to this issue. Some of their accounts can be read in newspapers or seen on the news, as the sexual assault that took place on our very own campus here was. Time magazine even devoted an entire issue due to this problem; in this issue, multiple politicians, activists, scholars, authors, lawyers and victims shared their voice and opinions on sexual assault on college campuses and how it should be taken care of.

Two of the articles in this issue that stood out to me the most include an article called “‘My Rapist Is Still on Campus’” written by Emma Sulkowicz, a victim of rape and junior from Columbia College, and an article written by Jonathan Kalin, a student activist who formed a movement for consent called “Consent Must Be Created, Not Given.” In Sulkowicz’s article, she tells of how she was raped the very first day of her sophomore year, and she is near the end of her college life yet her rapist is still free and on campus and will graduate with her. Not only did her rapist commit an act of sexual assault on her, but also on two other girls. Sulkowicz would wake up everyday afraid to leave her room for the fear of her rapist; in the future when she looks back on her experience at Columbia, it will be defined by this. it will be defined by how she received no help from the university when she asked for it and how she will have to life with this injustice for her entire life. When Sulkowicz did reach out to the school for help, administration and the campus justice system dismissed her case and the accounts of what had happened to her.

Situations similar to Sulkowicz’s happen way too often, and are the reason for all of the recent backlash that Universities are facing today; in fact, 55 universities are under investigation by the federal government for lacking in dealing with sexual assault cases on campus properly.  Many universities figure that they can brush these cases under the rug for fear of losing prestige and credibility. This may have worked in the past, however, rape on college campuses has become so prevalent, and on some campuses more so than others, that it can no longer be ignored. In recent years, rape culture has been perpetuated due to the media, sexist mentalities, and a sense of apathy from society. Relationships displayed in movies, TV shows, and music’s lyrics lend to the idea of rape and make power based violence seem acceptable in certain situations. Whether people or conscious of it or not, these images and messages are received by people and can contribute to their mentality and beliefs on sexual assault, swaying them to become more accepting, or even apathetic.

In Kalin’s article, he speaks of his movement to recreate the definition of consent and educating people about sexual violence in hopes of preventing it. He asserts that societal norms and the expectation of what college life should be like have created an environment where sexual assault is way too prevalent always featuring repeatedly shamed survivors of assault and perpetrators who plead the crime as one of “misunderstanding.” Although the government has recently stepped in in trying to help prevention, Kalin believes it will take a lot more than just this to change the culture associated with this; in order for it to change, the definition of consent must be considered and changed. Consent is not a silent practice as it appears in many movies and TV shows. It is something that must be verbalized and discussed to ensure that there are no misunderstandings and the participants are on the same page. If consent is an assumed silent thing, then there will obviously be multiple misunderstanding and can lend to the amount of sexual assault that occur on college campuses. Kalin also asserts that consent should not be made out to be a commodity, therefore people should no longer say that consent was “given” or “got,” but rather that is was created. If consent is created, then it should be backed by full understanding on both parties involved.

The recent strides made by the government and other activist organizations have helped the this cause immensely. College campuses have created outlets and resources to aid student victims and give them an outlet for support. Organizations such as Project Safe, Green Dot, and the Margaret Cuninggim Women’s Center all on Vanderbilt’s campus all strive to do this. Legislation has urged and pushed for bills to be written and rewritten to aid in preventing and solving the issue of sexual assault and violence on college campuses. Today, activists are still urging people to take notice of the issue at hand and hope to cease the perpetuation of rape culture on college campuses across the culture. In order for this to happen, college students need to be well informed and educated on the issue, knowing exactly what constitutes as sexual violence.

How could Vanderbilt do a better job of educating its students on sexual assault? Should informing students on sexual assault and violence be required by all universities? How effective do you really think the programs are on Vanderbilt’s campus at aiding in the prevention of sexual assault on campus?

Anal Sex: A Popularized Taboo

What is anal sex to you?  Is anal sex an immoral perversion of vaginal penetration or an awesome sexual fashion statement?  In “Anal Sex: Phallic and Other Meanings”, Simon Hardy analyses the current cultural representations of anal sex and people’s opinion of it.  For the most part, Hardy keeps his opinion on anal sex neutral, and instead analyses the diverse categorizations of anal sex that people create.  For this post I will analyze the implications of anal sex as seen in Hardy’s piece and offer my own opinion on the morality and practicality of this sexual practice.   Continue reading

Anal Play is not actually that “gay”

Homosexual individuals receive a lot of stereotypes when it comes to anal sex and foreplay, but the reality is that it’s not just gay men that enjoy anal sex. Straight men, straight women, bisexuals…they all enjoy it. In a survey done 44% of men and 36% of women reported having anal sex. So what is such the taboo with anal sex? Continue reading