What’s Sex Got to Do With Cards?

We all know everything there is to know about straight people. They’re everywhere. Gay men and lesbian women … we know a little about them. Enough to get by, or at least not to horribly offend someone. Queer people… (is that term not offensive anymore???). Bisexual women are hot, obviously. Threesomes, am I right? But what if the person who is bisexual is… a MAN!?

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Hooking Up

Since when did people start using the term “hooking up”? For as long as I can remember, people have used the phrase “hooking up” to refer to having a sexual encounter with another person. On the other hand, neither of my parents had heard of it before my generation. Where did the word even come from? To start, I think the term may have been developed to give people the luxury of being vague about a sexual experience. As younger and younger people started having some type of sexual experience earlier and earlier in life, a maturity issue must have been developing. These boys or girls are not at the age where they are comfortable talking about the actions that they are performing. This lack of maturity was the reason the word hooking up was even made.

The word eventually blew up into a term used on a daily bases. It would be hard for a sentence to be said without using the word hooking up. Nowadays, hooking up is one of the most talked about things on college campuses. The consequences however are what needs to be talked about. Hooking up made definitions and sexual acts so vague that interpretations can be made from extreme to boring. False rumors get spread that can make a girl regret trusting anyone. The world hooking up is dangerous to the mental health of teens.

To further understand hooking up, I think who we “hook up” with needs to be talked about. In most cases, heteronormative stances occupy the social aspect that is hooking up. Thus, shaming and diminishing the queer movement. Homophobic tendencies controlled the means in which hooking up was used, turning it into a danger. Hooking up never meant to be a word that sparked controversy into the gay community. Although people knew this, the LGBTQI community felt disrespected.

Final Reflection: A Post on Society & Sex

Upon being asked the question of what the most important and influential concept to understanding the relationship between sex and society covered in this semester, I began to think about all the different concepts talked and read about in class. When thinking about everything, I began to see connections between different terms that came up throughout the semester that were discussed that I had never seen before. The concepts are all fairly different, yet are all still related in some ways because of the manner that society has been formed over the years. Agents of socialization, sex education, social constructions, and heteronormativity have all become interconnected, creating an environment of hostility towards people who do not identify as heterosexual.

The agents of socialization people are exposed to impact their views on everything in life. However, their views on sex are affected more so than some other aspects of life are. The socialization of sex and sex education has a more prevalent impact on how a person forms their ideas and views on sex. The environment a person was raised in, their religion, schooling experience, family, friends, and the media all heavily influence the formation of what sex means and should mean to a person. But, this can be dangerous- with the amount of societal constructions (such as what “good” or “normal” sex is, gender, etc.)  that exist today, it is easy for the manner in which a person was socialized to negatively affect their views on sex or gender. For example, many religions do not condone homosexuality, so if someone is raised in that environment, it is likely they would judge and discriminate anyone who is homosexual.

SInce gender is a social construction, it easy to stereotype and discriminate against those who do not fit into the gender binaries that exist today (boy and girl). So, those who appear as  lesbian, gay, queer, bisexual, or transgender are easily stereotypes and judged. The heteronormative ideals that are held by the majority of the people in this country also lead to stigmas and discrimination. When people who have other sexual orientations other than heterosexual, they are often mistreated by society and can even be susceptible to violence, sexual violence in particular (as seen in the video of the transgender man who used the bathroom of a New York McDonald and was beat for it by the manager, yet was charged for a misdemeanor when in actuality he was the victim ).

Over the years, this problem has perpetuated. It has become easier for discrimination and violence to occur without any repercussion on the perpetrator. The connections between these terms and these societal constructions and manifestations all lend to why society is as it is today and why people discriminate, act violently toward, and outcast nonheterosexual people. Having a good understanding of all these terms allows for a person too see the interconnectedness and understand why these horrible things occur. It allows for people to be aware of  the problem and not lend to it or be an enabler.

What’s Sex Got To Do With… Identity? (Final Reflection)

Throughout the course of the semester, we have learned about and discussed a wide variety of sexual orientations and how western culture has normalized a sex and gender binary. We traversed through the LGBTQI alphabet soup, learning how each identity has to navigate through society and the common dangers they face by merely existing as an unconventional body. Homosexual bodies, particularly gay men, are learned to be feared from a young age through the existence of the “fag discourse” perpetuated in schools. Bisexual individuals are also often viewed as predatory and dangerous because of their refusal to cooperate within the straight/gay binary that society has constructed. Further complicating sexual binaries are transgender individuals, whose by definition identify as a gender different to the one they were assigned at birth. Intersex individuals, who were born with ambiguous genitalia, can fit into any one of these categories, or none at all. Completely removed from the sexuality spectrum in which all of these other identities exist is asexuality, which can be defined as a lack of sexual drive. Since around the 1960’s, when sexuality shifted from a behavior to an identity, heteronormative attitudes have emerged and worked to confirm heterosexuality as the “correct” form of sexual identity while marginalizing all others.

One of the preoccupations with a heteronormative society is to scrutinize the identities of non-hetero people. A clear example of this can be seen among the bisexual population, where the straight (and sometimes gay) populations discredit the “bisexual” identity. Some claim that bisexuals are just “gays in denial” or straight, but “going through a case.” For some, that may be the case. For others, not at all. The bottom line is that it really should not matter what someone identifies as. Everyone has their own definition of their own orientation, and it is ignorant and presumptuous to simply say that one’s identity is “incorrect.”

One identity that has come under considerable scrutiny for lacking a clear definition is asexuality. In the documentary (A)Sexual, we are introduced to a number of people who identify as asexual, but very few of them conduct their romantic and sexual activities in the exact same way. Some maintain a long term romantic partnership devoid of sexual interaction. Some acknowledge that they do engage in some sexual behaviors, but prefer to do so without the presence of a partner. Because asexuality itself seems to be a spectrum, people are very hesitant to accept someone’s identity as an asexual body because it differs from their own prototype of an asexual in their mind.

One of the most important and lasting lessons I have learned this semester is that people will attack and scrutinize the legitimacy of a sexual identity far more than any other personal identifier. Because heteronormative constructions have deemed “straightness” the norm and every other identity as degenerate and ultimately “abnormal”. This dichotomy has allowed those who identify as “straight” to incorrectly assume privilege and marginalize others. The only person who can declare someone’s sexual identity is that individual. We must end our preoccupation with accusing others of having “false” identities if we truly want a just world.

What’s Sex Got to do With…….. Being Bisexual and Nicki Minaj?

What does it mean to you when you hear the word bisexual? There could be many different claims to this; but when I hear the word bisexual I claim that this classification does not exist. I strongly believe that someone is straight, gay, or something else alone the lines. In other words when someone classifies themselves as bisexual I personally assume that they’re confused on what they really are. What does it really mean to be bisexual?

In Kristin Esterberg article, “The bisexual menace revisited,” she states that, “If we defined bisexuality as simply behavior sexual desire or activity with both men and women then we miss something important” (281). Basically one can not consider themselves as bisexual because they have a desire to be activity with both sexes. From experiences in high school I knew girls that would identify themselves as bisexual because one, they either wanted to experience sexual activities with men and women, or because they were treated badly by men and felt a women could treat them better….

In Nicki Minaj song “Anaconda” throughout the music video she is dancing with other women slapping their booties, but at the end of the music video she gives Drake (a masculine male a lap dance).

Is Nicki Minaj considered bisexual because of her actions in this video? According to Kristin Esterberg, Nicki Minaj would not be classified as bisexual because of her actions and desire she shows throughout her video, but in her song “Girls Fall Like Dominoes” she goes on and say, “I’ma need sixty-nine real bad girls for my tour bus, Somebody get security to escort us
They go the long way, but we take the short cuts, Give me the blonde hair, long weave, short cuts, You know the flow sick, came in on the small bus, So give the d-cup, c-cup, small bust, They judge me like the girls on trial, But every time that I come out it’s just girls gone wild, Got the domino effect in the front row passing out, With little bikini tops they got they x’s hanging out, Say my shoe game nuts, so I call ‘em cashews, Every other city theres another Nicki tattoo
Steal Wayne girls, I steal Drake girls, You know the real bitches love me fuck the fake girls
So if you pretty, I sign titties, I got the key to every mothafucking city.”

In Nicki Minaj lyrics and videos do you think that she is actually bisexual or is she doing this for her fans? Maybe she is doing and saying things like this because she actually is bi or maybe she’s putting on a show. Is being bisexual an identity? Does being bisexual exist, or is this a term one uses to hide what they really are? Lastly, if you believe that someone can be bisexual is it okay for men and women to be bi or is it just acceptable for women to be bi?

What’s Sex Got to do With… Final Reflection Post

In reflecting over the past semester, I think that our discourses surrounding different sexualities and sexual identities have been very important and informative.  Something that I have really taken away from our class discussion is the variety of sexual identities out there that deserve recognition, and the ways in which those identities can be divorced from behaviors, in order for us to take a more critical look at peoples’ embodied experiences with their sexualities and gender performances.

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