Asexual is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone, or low or absent interest in sexual activity. The documentary (A)sexuality gives many examples of why, how, and when people consider themselves asexual. I found it really confusing to follow all the different stories. All the people who were interviewed told how they are perceived through the world and the many stereotypes they get categorized in.
Many said they have no sexual desires for either sex. One guy said he likes the sadism and machoism (S&M) part of BDSM, but doesn’t like the actual act of intercourse. This is similar to 50 Shades of Grey. Grey used BDSM and he had plenty of sex but he never really had any sexual attraction to someone until he met Ana. Would he be considered an asexual who was cured by “love”? In the film, the researched said that many were born this way. They knew from birth about these unknown sexual attractions that didn’t seem normal. But in the interviews, some asexual people said that they made the decision to be asexual after a bad relationship. It’s confusing to me because I feel like asexuality is a mindset. When you don’t desire something and don’t long for something, it doesn’t make you a different. It is considered someone’s personal preference. These people aren’t considered gay or lesbian, they just don’t desire sex. LGBTQI community doesn’t support asexual because they don’t feel as though asexual people will help their community grow or mean anything to them. Normally that is not natural because it’s natural to want sex, even just to reproduce.
1% of the US Population is asexual. Not many people have heard of the word asexual and many won’t understand what it is. Asexuality can be very contradicting. Being asexual isn’t very natural. An older woman was telling her story of when she decided to become asexual. She said that she has had plenty of sex, a lot in fact, and but she still doesn’t have desire to have intercourse. Once she stopped having sex, she said she didn’t wish to have intercourse anymore. She didn’t miss the physical touching. This is ironic because in the film, the researched explained how most, almost all, asexual people are inexperienced with sex. They lack desire for sex because they never had it or their first experience wasn’t what they expected.
Asexuality is a choice. I feel that those who categorize themselves as asexual just want to be different. It doesn’t make you much of a different human being because you don’t long for sexual attractions. The reasons I believe people decide to be asexual is because they are running from love, had a horrid experience their first time, or they just don’t desire sharing their body. I have a bad relationship and I become asexual for a week. So, once I’m not mad at the world again, then I become un-asexual?
Asexuality is thought of as a disability says Thomas J. Gershick in his “The Body, Disability, and Sexuality” article. It is explained to be a mental sexual disability. It’s not that “they” can’t do it but rather have a mindset to not want to do it. Asexuality is being described as a mindset, therefore, making it a mental problem. It also explains that asexual people is “one who needs others to care for them.” I strongly agree with asexual being firmly a mindset. Being asexual isn’t normal but what it normal? Who is normal? What perfect person can we use as an example to define what it means to have normal sexual desires?
Here is the link to a YouTube video of a little boy name Joe who decided to never fall in love.
In this video, Joe decides to not fall in love. He has no sexual desires for anyone and doesn’t expect to. He had decided since 2nd grade to never fall in love with anyone. Joe is 14 years old in the video. His mindset is to not fall in love with anyone and with this mindset, he focuses on not having sexual desires for anyone. In the video it shows him being very happy with his decision and his life. “I don’t love my parents. They are nice people.” When he said this, I immediately thought back to the article when it said “asexuals are one who needs others to care for them.” The video shows Joe’s interactions with his family and I feel that there is a disconnection between him and his parents. His mom said that she tells him that she loves him but does she show him that she loves him? I saw no interaction between his father and his father was never interviewed. Joe did say that his only instance of falling in love and maybe having sex would be in another world. A world where he and his partner can fight monsters.
Do you think Joe has a mental disorder? Would you consider him asexual? If he had more love from his parents and interactions from his father, do you think he would have this mindset?