What does it mean to be “Asexual”

What does it mean to be “Asexual”?

The film (A)sexual is a documentary by Angela Tucker that was assigned for class and it was an interesting film because a lot of people in our society that never heard of this term before including myself. This is a documentary about asexual people around the world revealing their experiences in life. So what exactly is being asexuality in our society today?

The word asexual is defined as having no sexual desire or no sexual attractions. People who consider being asexual struggle to claim their identity in a way because some just found out about the term “asexual” and or some did not know how to classify themselves and others it was hard to come out to their friends and family as being asexual. Asexual should be known to more people throughout the world because there are more people than you think that are asexual in the world and some might get judge on their identity. This film argues that relationships without sex can be meaningful and important as those who our having sex. Asexuality is working to get away from baronies to spectrum asexuality, which shows us that intimacy and sexuality are two different things. Nobody can make you become asexual it is all within yourself on becoming asexual and how you feel. Indeed, the film shows how asexual people are either considered with hostility or confusion if there is a biological reason for lack of sex drive within themselves. The picture bellows shows what an asexual person would check off in a survey. These are becoming more common around the world to have a “neither” option. The definition of asexuality is becoming more aware to people today because there are millions of people who are asexual in our society today.




Many asexual people grow up and struggle to come to terms with the fact our society is extremely sexually active and how some asexual struggle with being lonely and not being able to fit in with the rest of the community. One of the main guys that stood out in the film most was a guy named, David Jay. He wants to express to the world what this meaning is and to warn people that there are asexual people in our society. David became asexual in middle school and he would even kiss other girls and said that would be interesting kissing them but anything further than that would stop making sense to him and to his body. He could never understand this mystery that was within himself and why he felt the way he did. He came out of being asexual to his parents when he attended Brock University and his parents were worried he was limiting himself. David expresses that when he finally understood his asexuality it opened up a lot more possibilities to himself and when he started to put himself more out into the world he realized this is the way he is and there is no concern of trying to change. After awhile though he was tired of getting asked how he masturbates and why he is like the way he is. All David wanted to do is it fit into the society viewed as a normal person. Out of the population in the United States he is considered one of the 1% of people who fall under being like this. The population is 310,868,584 people and only 3,108,686 people are asexual in our society. (Asexual Movie, Angela Tucker)

A lady who also stood out in this documentary was Swank Ivy. This woman is asexual but has gone through a lot of torture from being this way. When she tells people that she does not want have sex they come off to her saying that she is not asexual and that she only a lesbian, has hormonal problems, could not get a man, inexperienced, being afraid and even traumatized or having other issues to herself. Swank hopes to stop getting this harassment from people when our society starts to change as more people start hearing about asexuality and meeting and getting to know more about these asexual people.

David expresses in this film that he believes intimacy is the most important part of a relationship. Intimacy is closeness, bond, and a true knowing of one another. He finds that the most important intimate moments happen outside the bedroom. Some inmate moments that our society does today would be holding hands while you are walking or even going out for a stroll together in the parking creating some bonding time. A one-night stand or hooking up would be considered sex for the sake of sex. Even though this is intimacy it is not the same as being in love and showing how you truly care. Our society today has even stepped away from that because some think that sex just makes everything better but in the end only true intimacy will create a stronger relationship. So it should be known that there is a big difference between intimacy and having sexuality. Intimacy helps asexual people become more devoted to their relationship because all asexual people are looking for is closeness and understanding to share between one another. Asexuality is starting to get known more and more across the world so that people become aware.

References: (A)sexual. Dir. Angela Tucker. Perf. David Jay. 2011. Film.